3.10.00 - 21:44:51
Okay, so last night my brain was somewhere between whip and liquefy. While I WAS offered a column, I should have known it was too good to be true. Let me fill you in on a little secret I may not have mentioned before. (I might have brought it up, but I don't remember and don't feel like reading a bunch of my own entries to find out. You, however, are requested to read every last word and report back to me ASAP.)
I ghost-write for this guy (who I'll call Parker). Parker lands the deal, pays me an obscene amount of money and his name goes on the books. I haven't had any work from him since I finished the last Office 2000 book over the summer, so I don't think I've had reason to mention it here before.
When I received his e-mail last night about starting a column IMMEDIATELY, I assumed he had it in the bag. I assumed it was a piddly little few lines somewhere buried in the Tuesday edition. He didn't. It wasn't.
Today I learned I'm to write a couple columns on spec, and we'll see where it goes from there. The editor at the paper says he's interested and if he decides to use one, he'll pay for it, but there is no promise of future assignments. I highly doubt anything will come of it except, at best, a few filler columns until they find someone more appropriate. You see, I also found out today exactly what this was all about. Don Crabb's spot. Isn't that the most ludicrous thing you ever heard? I'd have a better chance filling in behind Michael Jordan.
Plus, I feel creepy. Apparently, Parker called the Sun-Times the day of Crabb's funeral. How's that for tact? He says he didn't KNOW that at the time, but I'm forced to wonder. He's a fairly shrewd businessman and he's been known to exploit an opportunity or two in his day. This one, however, goes a little beyond my comfort level.
I'm going to do it though. Just one. I'll get paid whether it's published or not and I'll put the cash aside for my trip to Vegas. Do I feel like a whore? Yes. But money talks, baby.
Did I tell you I'm going to Vegas? We're have a "girls weekend" in May and it will be such fun! I'm going to practice my card counting and win a bundle. Something in my head lets me count cards if it's a six deck shoot--don't ask what it is, I don't know. I can't do five decks or seven decks. Just six. Hopefully, that's the standard in Vegas.
In other Pinchly news, that noxious corporate climber who was horning in on my high-profile project has decided to take a 12 week leave of absence. I'm told that when he returns, he will not be in our department. I just LOVE when my problems simply disappear! No work on my part, no struggling to resolve issues. Just POOF! Gone!
