4.19.00 - 19:08:51
I'm busy. Here's an entry from the 11th I never got around to posting the night Hula and I had The Fight. Our housefly infestation was short-lived, thank god, and I've only see one in the last few days. A speedy little bugger who refuses to be tempted by the light. Perhaps he somehow senses a squashing in his future.
* * *
Do you have any idea how disgusting flies are? They are nasty, fat and squishy. I never realized how much I hated flies until I saw twelve tonight. TWELVE. All at once. Flying around the kitchen light.
I nearly had a heart attack.
How does one count out twelve flies buzzing around? Very neurotically and very obsessively. I had to know how many there were. I needed to prepare for counter-attack.
I immediately turned off all the lights except one lone lamp in the living room and retreated here, to the computer room, piling books in front of the door lest they sense the light from the monitor and try to get in. I'm pretty sure they are all on the other side of the door now. I almost hear them whispering my name. I'm scared to open it. "Gracieeeeee…..Graaaaaacieeeeeeeee"
Dammit.
Of course, the first thing I did once I cloistered myself was search the internet for "house fly".
I found something bad. Something really bad. I found the "Face Fly" (see above). The almighty INTERNET tells me that the face fly looks similar to a house fly, except that the eyes of the male are closer to each other than the ordinary house fly. Of course, the INTERNET neglected to mention the hideousness of the name.
Face Fly.
Say it slowly and repeat it a few times. It's scary. It makes you picture tiny little human faces on those fat black buzzing bodies. What if one of them looks like Regis? It's enough to send me into spirals of panic.
Later…after more net searching and imagining the faces of Democrats on fly bodies:
I have no words to describe how completely and utterly sickened I am at this moment. I've made a discovery. I think they are coming in from the back room which is off the computer room. That stinking place where the previous tenants kept their Gila monster. (This is no lie, they kept it in a crate. I think one of them worked for the Lincoln Park Zoo.)
I turned on the light in there to sort of lure them away from me. The door to the back room consists of 10 panes of glass; it was a back porch at one time. Fuck if there aren't 20 flies on there right now, looking at the light and talking about me.
During the writing of that paragraph I jumped, shrieked and screamed "FUCKER AAAAAAH GET AWAY FROM MEEEEAAAAAAHHH" It was all very involuntary. A Face Fly found the monitor and sort of touched my arm on the way. If only the web cam where operable here. What a scene.
* * *
That's it, that's all I had time to write that night. And that's about it for tonight too. I'm completely hooked on "The Secret History" and must get back to it ASAP.
Oh, and for those kind readers curious about my test results, they came back yesterday. All negative. No cancer. For that I am supremely pleased, but I'm still baffling medical science. I've been forwarded to a specialist whom I'll see May 5th.
Night night, sleep tight, don't let the face flies (or the Democrats) bite.
