5.3.00 - 20:36:48
I give my big presentation tomorrow. I haven't told you ONE THING about it, but that's because I've been so freaked out that I can't write even write about it. Well, that and I have no time to write the entries deserving of your readership because I've been preparing for the BIG PRESENTATION.
The last time I gave one, I came down with the flu the very same day. Somehow, I've equated speaking in public with getting flu. Subsequently, I've been obsessed with getting plenty of sleep and taking multiple vitamins. This hasn't been such a bad obsession in the long run. I feel pretty good. Well rested and energized. Just scared. Let me tell you, there's nothing worse than NOT being exhausted and scared. I don't even have the luxury of sleeping through the fear.
I'm not very good at public speaking, so of course, I plan these big meetings where I give a presentation. At first it feels like a good idea. I'm challenging myself, pushing myself as far as I can go. But the closer the date comes, the more petrified I become. It's torturous. THIS time I even went so far as to commit to TWO of these things. One tomorrow and one a month from tomorrow.
I can now look forward to another week of freaking out and over preparing. Another week of absolutely everything I do being clouded by the upcoming event. I swear, I'd rather have another colonoscopy than get up in front of people and talk.
But it's good to face our fears, right? It makes us stronger. (I think I hate Nietzsche right now. Really hate him. If it weren't for him, I'd never have this compulsion to do things that scare me in the first place.)
Be thankful you're not me tonight!
xoxo,
Pinch
